Friday, January 20, 2012

Dear Sean T

Dear Sean T-
           I have a few suggestions for you and your workout routines. You can take them or leave them, but if you ask me, I think these suggestions will really help to bring your workouts to a legendary status quite like Jane Fonda reached.

1. Before the workout starts don't look at the camera and tell your devout watchers that you're scared for what is to come in any particular workout. I was already scared enough today. Today was called "Pure Cardio" and as if that wasn't intimidating enough, you had the audacity to state that you were scared for what was to come. I almost quit right then and there. No, really loyal blog readers, I did. That simple statement almost broke me.

2. Quit telling me to dig deeper. It doesn't motivate me, it makes me want to punch you in the face for not coming up with a better slogan. Next time, consult a marketing firm. Or shit, better yet, walk into a college marketing class, there's tons of young whipper snappers out there just gnawing at the bit for a chance to come up with the "next big thing".

3. If you ever tell me again that, "That shit was bananas" I will personally hunt you down and do something horrible to you, like give you a titty twister, or make you repeatedly bang your funny bone on something hard, or even heaven forbid make you eat something fattening.

4. Quit walking around yelling at the students in the class to push it harder, and dig deeper. Bitch- they're still working out, while you're slowly meandering around the room critiquing them. I've made the decision that every time you quit to "motivate" and "critique" your students, I'm going to do the same for Caitlyn and Taylor (Y'all better get ready).

So Sean T. Those are my suggestions, I hope take them into consideration.

Gofckyourself.Ihopeyoustepinaholeandtwistanankle,
Emily

PS- Today was day 5. 55 more to go.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Day 4- Is it normal for your legs to tremble while you drive?

This is the question I was asking myself as I ran an errand after Insanity today. Today was our "Recovery" day. Again, silly me, I thought, "Recovery day, this should be easy and I can totally rock this shit." I especially thought this after reading a blog that proclaimed "No Cardio on Recovery day!" I was encouraged, I was pumped, I was downright perky when I met my fellow insane asylum mates today.

And then I was crushed. I watched all my hopes and dreams of an easy workout fizzle in front of me as my fellow crazies and I struggled with all of the yoga-like poses and balance/core/evil I don't know what to call them exercises that about damn near killed us.

Taylor, or Evil Overlord as I now refer to him, swears this will make us feel better. I had serious doubts about that as I was driving my car and my leg was literally trembling every time I pushed the accelerator. I mentioned this to Caitlyn and told her that "I'd say my legs are tired" and she responded with, "I almost fell walking down the stairs. I'd say I agree."

Tomorrow is something else that involves cardio and right now I'm wishing I had spent my afternoon huffing and puffing instead of downward dogging. I feel about 99% certain that tomorrow I'll feel differently.

But right now, I am 100% certain of one thing- Margaritas make everything better.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

We've entered the 3rd Circle of hell

Or the 3rd day of Insanity. One or the other. Ironically, the 3rd circle of Hell in Dante's Inferno, is "Gluttony". I should probably draw a connection between these two, but instead I'll continue to sit on my sofa and eat the tiny bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs I treated myself with.

Today, as I said was the 3rd day of Insanity. And though I explained it yesterday, many people still had questions about "What the Hell IS Insanity". Insanity is a 60 day workout program, it's almost all cardio, and the workouts are so Insane, if you will, that you are frequently encouraged to stop, take a breath, and get some water. You're not supposed to diet with this, instead you're supposed to up your meal count to 5 small meals a day, all packed with protein. The 5 meals a day thing is because your metabolism is (supposedly) kicked into high gear from these RE-DONKulous workouts. Bottom line- The workouts suck. The "warm-up" today was around 10 minutes. 10 minutes of power jacks, mountain climbers, power squats, and all sorts of other torturous activities that are even more horrible than they sound.

When the actual workout started, I still can't get over the fact that the warm up isn't it, it got worse. I keep thinking, "Hey, maybe this will be the day you can actually do these workouts." I keep being wrong. We did all sorts of evil push-ups. I can't even do ONE push-up let alone, some fancy new take on a push-up.

This is the point in most people's blogs where they say, "I thought I couldn't do it, but I COULD! I did it!" Yep, no, didn't happen. Still can't do a push up. I alternated between girl push-ups, and just sitting there holding my body up, and occasionally laying on the ground. Okay, so a little more than occasionally laying on the ground.- This  is where I'll throw a fellow Insanity friend under the bus and say Caitlyn has about as much upper body strength as me. She looked like she also wanted to die during this part of the day. It makes me feel better to see friends suffer along with me, evil, but true.

BUT, even though I laid on the ground, and whined, and wanted to die, at least I gave it my best and did something instead of napping in my big comfy bed while watching Friends! I just CAN'T WAIT for tomorrow!! And that's because tomorrow is one day closer to my day off. Caitlyn said her thighs hurt, my knees hurt, and I can't remember where Taylor hurts, but everyone should safely assume it's somewhere in his whole body region.

And tonight I'll leave you with some pictures of how we look after a workout. And incase you were wondering the answer is "SEXAY"!!



Say some prayers that we can all move tomorrow, we might need it.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Insanity- Yes I am Insane

Why hello blog, I've missed you. I'm re-entering the blog world with a challenge for myself. My challenge involves two parts- working out and blogging about it. But this won't be your normal, "I feel so great about myself, I am so happy I am doing this" type of blogging. No, No, this will be the cold hard truth. And the truth is Insanity SUCKS.
What is Insanity? THIS is insanity Damn you Sean T. Insanity, for those of you who don't want to click my little link I gave you, is a 60 day workout program that is basically so intense that it's insane.

Now WHY, WHY you ask, WHY THE HELL am I doing this?


It's all his fault. Meet Taylor, our evil overlord for the duration of this crazy journey. Taylor is an amazing, passionate person. He is a lover, not a fighter, and has quickly become one of my favorites in the short time I have known him. Taylor is an active, fit, athletic guy, and he manages to make me look horrible while we try to kick Insanity's ass each day. Taylor innocently asked me one day if I would like to participate in this journey, and for a brief moment in time, I lost my senses and said yes.  So, Taylor, being the persistent little booger that he is, is holding me to my "yes". He is dragging Caitlyn and Me every day to kill ourselves while we do this crazy thing called "Insanity". 

Speaking of Caitlyn....


Meet Caitlyn, our resident "baby", and self proclaimed "I've never worked out in my life" chica. Caitlyn danced for approximately 15  years (I think, I hope I listened right) and has every bit of grace of a dancer, but like me lacks the desire to run miles and miles a day. We thought we'd do Insanity for fun, little did we know it is NOT ANY FUN.

Today is day 2. And as I sit on my sofa and type this, the following areas of my body hurt- Shoulders, legs, knees, shins, ankles, and my abs. And no this isn't a "Oh I feel so good my body hurts from working out" kind of pain. This is a plain and simple, "My feet are cold but I know it will hurt to move when I reach for my slippers so I'm just going to be cold" kind of pain.

I know what all of you are thinking, "Emily, why the hell are you doing it if you are going to complain so much?" The truth is, I do want to feel better. I want my clothes to fit better, and to be able to go upstairs without getting winded. I want to be one of those people who LOVES to exercise. Though I strongly doubt that last one will happen, I want the rest of the things to happen.

ALSO- I want abs like hers...


Okay, I know, my abs won't look like that, but a girl can dream right? Okay so, two days down folks. 58 to go. We did the fit test on day one (yesterday), and the first day of some evil Cardio thing today. I'll keep you all updated with our progress and the evilness of it all. Right now, the warm up gets me winded, so hopefully, I will progress and maybe not be winded by the warm up by day...20. See, setting goals already. GO ME.

Okay so! Wish us luck! Check back in. You can follow Taylor on Twitter at @TaylorAndrewsAU and Caitlyn at @CaitlynCarter. We all bitch equally about this hellacious journey we're going on, so it will be fun to see what we have to say. AND if all of this pays off, and we have sexy steel like abs, I might even let y'all see the before and after photos.... but just maybe.

Oh and last but not least, thank you to everyone who on Day 2 has already told us Congrats and that you are proud of us! There's lots of you out there and we need all the encouragement we can get. So keep "liking" those Facebook statuses, and keep the "You go Girls!" coming, because we need it!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Woofstock and More!

I love Auburn (just in case you didn't already know that). But the reasons I love the town I live in far surpass our National Championship football team (that will NEVER get old). Auburn is a beautiful town and though I complain about the lack of shopping at times, it's the perfect size and has so much to offer.

One of the BEST things about Auburn is the events put on by the city and the organizations in the city. This past weekend Laura, Nick and I went to Woofstock!



Woofstock is an annual event hosted by the Lee County Humane Society to raise money and awareness for the shelter and pet adoptions. It's a giant dog party with TONS of freebies and activities for dogs and their humans.


Ava and Moe were so excited about the upcoming event that they could barely sit still for photos! Ava and Moe were looking dazzling in their Auburn collars I made them and they received several comments on them throughout the day.

 The morning was so much fun and it made me want to sell the collars I made the dogs! If anyone wants one you can email me at emilyelizabethewing@gmail.com . I can make them in any colors and sizes, and they are elastic so they can slip on over any collar you hook your leash to. They're great for tailgating or holidays! They cost $12 to $15 depending on how big your dog is and I can ship them anywhere.

Enough about dog collars! After the morning at Woofstock, Laura and I went to a wedding shower for our friend Ashley. It was a wonderful time and she gets married in 9 days!


I was also able to perfect my tissue paper bridal veil this weekend. I will be selling these for the rock bottom price of 10 cents each....don't we make gorgeous models?

Even though Woofstock and wedding showers are truly exciting, there's something else in my life that's even MORE exciting...AUBURN FOOTBALL!!! And all College football in general. In 2 days Jordan-Hare Stadium will be filled with fans screaming for our team, and even though I will miss the first two games, I will be there in spirit. Football season is my favorite season of the year and I cannot wait to watch every game possible on multiple TV's while I'm home with my family this weekend.
So with that in mind I wanted to leave you with a little something so you can be as pumped as I am about kickoff which is in approximately 1 day and 23 hours 44 minutes and 49 seconds...but who's counting...


WAR DAMN EAGLE!!
And last but not least...Happy Birthday Dad!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Books.Movies.Television

Books, Movies and Television Oh My!
Don't get me wrong. I think television rots your brain as much as the next person. But does that mean I don't love to watch it? Heck No! I love nothing more than to sit on the sofa flipping through one of the 9 magazines I get every month with some horrible television show like Toddlers and Tiaras on in the background. It's soothing, it's peaceful, it's what I love to do.
Same with movies. My mom (Hey Mom!) is always shocked that I can watch the same movies over and over again. Those are the best movies to watch! Why? You don't have to pay attention. You can clean, fold laundry, cook dinner, anything! It's wonderful. Rainy Saturdays, pop in Practical Magic (if you're anything like the Tripod ladies and I) and do 8 loads of laundry and clean your whole house. Perfect day, you'll just have to trust me on this one.
But I digress, this post started with BOOKS. Which seem to have been forgotten in this new world of technology we find ourselves in. Yes, I too have a Kindle that I have an irrational love for. But, does that stop me from buying actual books, why no, because I'm a crazy book lady. I have three things to say about books:
1. I was an English major, a lot of people assume I sit around reading intelligent novels. EH WRONG. I read the trashiest silliest literature I can get my hands on.
2. Don't be ashamed to read horrible trashy novels, they're the best.
3. I have a horrible habit of reading books that get turned into TV series or Movies and becoming incredibly angry at how the movies don't come close to honoring the great work of literature the book was.

SO, with that being said, if you are looking for something to read that FAR surpassed the movie version or television version, here are a few suggestions!

1. My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult
Now, I must first start by saying, I didn't even go see this movie. But Emily, how can you possibly judge a movie you haven't seen, you ask. My dear friend Laura told me the ending, which was 100% different than the book and I was so pissed I reused to go see it. I went as far to call the family friend (Hey Katherine!) who introduced me to the author to demand she not go see it either. If you've seen the movie, go grab the book. Jodi Picoult is an excellent writer and you will not be disappointed by the book and you too will be angry the ruined such an excellent novel.

2. Any Novel by Nicholas Spark that has been adapted into a movie
These are just a few of the novels written by Nicholas Sparks that are turned into movies. I love Nicholas Sparks for a few reasons. Almost all of his movies are set in the South Carolina/North Carolina coastal region, and they all tell an incredibly sappy love story that inevitably  leave you in tears by the end. All of the movie adaptations of these novels are GOOD but they leave out MAJOR parts of the plots. Start by reading The Last Song (not pictured) it'll make you hate Miley Cyrus more.
3. Pretty Little Liars
I must say, I am TORN on this one. Those of you that know me well, know my sick obsession with this show. You know I text you on commercials, freak out when we get to talk about it, and have a million theories on who "A" could be. Though I love the show, the books are excellent. They are written on about a 9th grade level. Even if you don't like to read, you'll like these. They're horribly trashy, the plot keeps you involved, and you'll be dieing to read the next one. While the books are GREAT, this is the one series I will say I really like the adaptation, the "mystery killer" in the TV series is supposedly different than the novel series, which makes for interesting viewing for readers like myself! Check them out, they're great!

And finally all I have to say is READ. READ READ READ! No matter what it is! Read until you find an author you like. I promise, there are books out there for everyone. Not only does reading stimulate your mind, but it allows you to escape to another world. Whether that world be full of wizards and butter beer or snobby high school girls, you can find yourself in a world much different than your own.

SO- Pick up a book and allow yourself to drift away to another world sometime soon.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The World's Ending...

So I thought I'd start a blog. Hoorah!

Hurricanes, Earthquakes, whats next?!

Dinner of course! Food is always the answer to what to do before the world ends. Cook a delicious dinner and have a large glass of wine with it. Food can be the answer to anything. I genuinely love to cook. I love to look up recipes, print them out, lose the print out and just make it up from there.

Cooking is by no means hard! I don't have a fancy kitchen, I don't have fancy kitchen gadgets. I don't buy expensive ingredients. I try to cook decently healthy meals, balancing out casseroles with a nice green salad. Balancing out butter with raw veggies. Cooking for me is a great way to end the day. I would love to tell you cooking is a great way to express yourself, but then myself would be a 500lb obese woman, so I won't go down that road.

My spidey senses must of been in high gear last night (with predicting the end of the world and all) because I realized that I needed to cook something delicious. I found the recipe for last night's concoction on Pinterest- Have you heard of Pinterest? I hope so. It's highly addictive, its a virtual "cork board" if you will. A great place to get ideas for crafts, recipes, weddings and so much more. Trust me, check it out and an hour later after you've wasted time that could of been spent doing actual productive things, you'll thank me for such an interesting site.

Back to dinner. I made Pizza Casserole! It was absolutely delicious! I also had multiple large glasses of red wine with it...wine makes everything better if you ask me.

The Recipe...I followed this one...Pizza Casserole...But I'm not a play by the rules kind of girl so I changed a few things. SO If you would like to try it one night (which I recommend you do, it was given a thumbs up by 3 out of 3 people who tried it) here's what I did!

Ingredients
1.5lbs burger (or ground turkey, or chicken)
1 bag egg noodles
1 Large jar Pasta Sauce (I used Winn Dixie brand pasta sauce-you want the kind in the plastic jar there's more in it)
3 cups Shredded Mozz Cheese
Chopped Onion (optional)
Pepperonis

What To Do:
Preheat the oven to 350- Don't be like me..Don't forget to do it.
Brown the burger- This is where I added some pizazz I added season salt, garlic, oregano, parsley and a splash of red wine (I also added some chopped onion for flavor!)
Cook the noodles (Salt the water!)
Layer the casserole!
I followed the above recipe and it went something like...a little sauce...followed by noodles...then burger...sauce...more noodles...cheese...rest of meat...sauce....rest of cheese...the top it with pepperonis.
The order really doesn't matter at all...you're just going for a semi even distribution of ingredients.
Bake covered for 30 min at 350...then uncover and bake for 15 more min. Take it out of the oven and let it set! This will be the hardest part...it will smell delicious...and all the wine you drank has made you hungry...but let it sit there for at least 10 minutes...then dig in!


The Finished Product


Nom Nom Nom! Now what you can't see...this made a TON of casserole. I used a 3 quart casserole dish and it was FULL and heavy. It would probably serve about 4-6 people. We definitely had a LOT of  left overs for Nick's lunch and my dinner while he's at work this week. You can easily half this recipe and use a smaller casserole dish (BTW- most casserole dishes are 2 quart...when in doubt look on the bottom and it usually says the size). Give it a try! Super easy and super delicious!


PS- Watch out for natural disasters. Mother nature seems cranky.